Welcome 2011, with love

I have been a nomad the entire 2010. My desk in my home office was given to me, taken away, reassign another desk, taken away for so many times I lost count. I spent the last day of 2010 packing all my belongings into my box (the most permanent 'furniture' I have) because someone new, who is expected to be more often in the office is coming in Jan 2011 - although my travel intensive projects have ended and I will be spending a lot of time in the office from now on. So now I am back to the spot-the-empty-desk every morning when I step in. Hot desking doesn't work if I am the only person doing it!

I tried (or I subconsciously did) to detach from the things I had, and people that mattered to me, I figure they were bad for me because I couldn't have any of it. Many times, I felt empty and wondered if anyone was really there. If I am gone, will I be missed? I had a lot going on everyday, I kept myself busy, but I was living my life half dead. I love my job but I resent all the circumstances it puts me in. Never a minute I make peace with living out of my home country. I isolate myself emotionally, especially with new people I meet. I don't want to make a connection so that it'll be easier to detach when I need to.

Lesson learned is that the love and attachment to people and things around me wasn't bad for me. It was what kept me going. It's not going to work, trying to run away from the human connection. I was doing everything half heartedly because there was something I hate about everything I love. Everyone needs an anchor, that makes life more meaningful than just about chasing dreams.

For 2011, I will ...
do everything with passion at full blast,
not push away emotions and attachments,
fill my life with all the things and people that matter,
not be afraid to let go, and love,
make my KL home 'home' again